56. Centre of gravity shift

Today is the big day, bilateral mastectomy and Persephone taken out. Wednesday June 28th. I woke up at 6.25am and had two big glasses of water. From 6.30am not allowed to have any food or drink. I had a shower and was dressed, packed and ready to catch the train. My left knee was a bit catchy and playing up again but I can still walk. It has been grey and drizzling. I checked the train app and it says the train before and after the 7.45am train were a few minutes late but that my train was on time. It didn't rain on the walk up to the station and my knee was ok. When Mither and me got onto the platform I saw the indicator said the next train didn't stop and the train after that was the 8.05am. Just then an announcement saying that our train was cancelled!!! Really?!? Mither looks on the app and there is a bus coming that can take us to Sutherland. I call Sue, we had texted the night before and she said if anything happened and I did need a lift to give her a ring. She could meet us at Sutherland and picked us up at the Kiss and Ride area near Platform 1. I called the hospital to let them know about the train cancellation and that I was on my way in case we got stuck in traffic. We got dropped off at the main entrance at St George Hospital just a few minutes before 8.30am. Thanks Sue!

I asked at the desk how to get to the day clinic and she said lift to level 2 and then follow the signs. That was some twisting and turning of corridors. Sometimes they were permanent signs and other times they were green laminated signs on the walls. I made it to the clinic and checked in. It was bang on 8.30am. I was taken through to the back room and given a RAT. Here's hoping I don't have covid or the flu or RSV. I don't have any symptoms but sometimes you don't and can still be sick. It must've been all fine as around 8.45am I was taken into another room and given the intake interview. Height, weight, blood pressure, oxygen, temperature all taken. I was given 2 panadol and a couple of sips of water. So nice to have some even if it was a small amount. The lady doing the interview lives a few streets away from me. Random coincidences. After going through all the paperwork I'd filled out for admission, reconfirming I didn't have any heart, lung issues, not diabetic and any other health issues. Keratoconus and legally blind without contacts. Allergies are chilli and cephalexin. Peripheral neuropathy in fingers and toes. After the interview I go and sit in the waiting room with Mither again. We wonder how long I'll have to wait this time.

Not long as it turns out. Around 9.30am I'm asked to go through "the door" into another area. Mither can come to. I'm asked to change into a dark blue hospital gown, very scratchy type. Not cotton, some sort of plastic? I take out my contacts and give everything to Mither. I put on the really tight knee high socks. I manage to do that myself this time around. My hospital bands (red again) go around my ankles this time instead of one on the wrist and one on ankle. An orderly comes along around 9.45am and whisks me around the hospital corridors, in a lift and then into a little room where I'm met by a nurse and an anaesthetist called Michael and then another called Peter. They need to put a cannula in, not arms or hands this time but foot! Peter gets some scissors and cuts the foot part of the sock down the middle of the top of my foot. He taps and squishes my veins and talks about how it'll hurt more than an arm or hand but studies have shown that it hurts the same as a local anaesthetic so one needle is better than two. He decides to use a vein near the bony part on the inside of my ankle. Yeah, it hurts A LOT. However he doesn't get it in properly and it doesn't work. He plays around on the top of my foot and asks Michael to have a look. They think it would be better there, it's more awkward to put in and use but they do get it in and it hurts A LOT again. Michael asks me to open my mouth wide and then move my neck side to side. Then asks me how far back could I bend it. I'm guessing it has something to do with the tube they put down my throat when I'm under.

Dr Inder comes out with another doctor called Nicole. Dr Inder needs to draw some lines on me so they know where to cut. She tells me to sit up straight and then with both hands grabs my left boob pulls it out and up, turning it left and right and saying "Yeah, this is going to be a lot of hard work". She has a pen and draws some marks in the centre of my chest and out under my armpits. She does the same on the right side. I'm allowed to lie down again and another anaesthetist puts a strip on my forehead, pressing it down quite hard. It's to monitor my neural activity during the operation. It was 10.17am when I went through to the operating theatre.

I move onto the skinny bed and there is a flurry of activity happening, lots of beeps and people checking off things from lists. Michael puts a mask over my mouth and tells me to breath normally. He then said "Someone was trying to be nice and didn't push this on tight enough" and he pushes hard on the forehead band 3 times. Geez, I think there are now holes into my skull! Then after a minute he tells me to breath in deeply and expand my lungs all the way, then to breath out all the way. He needs to measure my lung capacity he says. He asks me to do that a few times more. Someone injects something through the cannula in my foot and then the oxygen in the mask tastes weird, sort of like those small hard valentine heart lollies that are sort of minty but sort of musk stick flavour. Michael tells me to breath normally and after about 5 breaths I don't remember anything else.

I wake up in recovery. Very thirsty. My throat is a bit sore but the nurse tells me that is normal from the tube. She gives me a glass of water to drink and asks if I'm hungry. That's a good question, the tummy doesn't really like to communicate that way at the moment. I say that I could eat and I don't feel dizzy or nauseous. I have a blood pressure cuff on my left calf. It goes up every 15 minutes. Some sandwiches are delivered. I was in recovery for about an hour and a half. I probably doze in and out a few times. The room where I was going needed to be cleaned which is why it was taking so long.

Around 3.30pm I am moved to the ward - 1 West. Mither is waiting for me. She gives me my contacts and I put them in. So nice to be able to see again. The nurse, Alison, remembers me from my last operation in November. She was working a double shift. 7am to 10pm. That is a LONG time to be working. I have a cannula in my right foot as well now! Mither checks out my scars. They are pretty EPIC. 40-50cms she guesses. We measured them today, right side is 40cm, left side is 39cm. That was a very rough measure as she didn't want to put the tape measure on my skin. I have probably 5cm above sternum without scar and then they go out under my arms and a bit onto my back. They have the same "comfeel" dressings on, the see through stuff that is stuck on and won't be removed under Dr Inder sees me on Friday 7th. If she feels like they should be taken off. Wouldn't want gravity to pull the incisions open. eeeeek!

The nurses came and got me up, I went and did a wee. Why are the toilets in the hospital so low? It's pretty uncomfortable getting down onto the seat but it is so nice to have a wee. They changed my bedding and gown. This gown was a light blue one and had 3 ties across the shoulder and 1 around the back. Alison fumbled a bit with them and grumbled that "you need a whole separate degree to know how to put these on". I was finally settled in bed again. I have two drains, one on each side. They are lower down and further in towards my middle than last time and that makes a big difference. The left one pinches a little sometimes but otherwise my pain levels are not too bad. I feel better than I did than with the last operation. Danita FaceTimes me from Western Australia, she was doing some cooking and wondered if I wanted to chat while she cooked. I said for a little bit maybe. She asks me what country uses ounces and and then what was 113g of butter in cups. It's half a cup.

We didn't get much further as Dr Nicole and another Dr came to check on how I was going so I had to hang up. They checked the drains and incisions, the right side was bleeding a bit and so they made a note to tell the nurses to put something extra on it. They said one of the cannulas in my feet can also come out. Nicole said that everything went well, I tolerated the surgery well and that there "was a LOT of stitches". I'm guessing she means inside as there aren't any visible on top. Good practice I guess! They said they'll check in again in the morning.

Dinner came at 5.10pm. Roast chicken, gravy and vegetables, apple juice and some sort of vanilla pudding. Mither took that home along with another dessert I didn't want. At 6.08pm I was given 2 panadol and 1 endone. My pain was at about a 5 or 6, mainly from the drain sites. I decided to take my contacts out as I was sure the endone was going to send me to sleep. I was right. 8.29pm Alison gave me a needle in the left thigh, heparin. It hurt and stung for a good 5 mins or so. I have a bruise there now too. At 8.37pm someone came and took out the cannula in my right foot. Alison put another dressing on the right side, over the comfeel one.

I slept pretty well. Around midnight a nurse came and took my obs and I got 2 more panadol and 1 endone. Back again around 5am, this time with just 2 panadol. Up to pee a few times and breakfast came around 7.15am. I didn't get to order it so it was a slice of white bread with butter and jam, milk, wheatbix and apple juice. Even though I don't like wheatbix I ate them. Drs came back around 7.30am and said that the nurses can put a waterproof dressing on the right side instead of the puffy padded one that Alison had put on the night before. 7.45am another heparin needle, this time in the right thigh. This one didn't hurt as much. 8.30am nurse came back with the waterproof dressing.

The OT came to talk to me, ran through the shoulder exercises I need to do 5 times each, 4 times a day. Same as last time. Don't like my arms above shoulder level until the drains come out. She wanted to see how I was on my feet and took me for a walk around the ward. Before we went for a walk though she said she would get me another gown so I wasn't showing off my undies to everyone. Well, they are nice and new and funky patterns and colours but ok. The gown she got was a bit small so she put it over my shoulder and tied it under my chin so I had a white cape. Super woman is on the loose! I have stairs at home so we went up the fire exit stairs. That was ok. Coming back down was an interesting experience! My centre of gravity has changed so I felt like I was tipping forward a bit. "Do you have rails at home?" Yep, "Make sure you use them when you go up and down to get used to your new normal.".

Around 10am my blood pressure was showing a bit high, 186/134. The nurse tried both legs, different coloured cuffs. She said she would make a call to the doctor. The doctor said to check again in half an hour and then an hour and then an hour. The next time she checked it was 134/63. That's a bit better! Maybe it was up cos I'd gone for a walk around the ward and stairs. Kim, breast nurse, dropped in to see how I was going and to give me another bag to carry my 2nd drain. This one is green with white tea cups on it. She gave me another pink horseshoe pillow too. Not that I use it other than as an actual pillow. They are the size of a travel pillow that goes around your neck. The satin feels nice on the bald head (which is less bald each day). Kim also showed me what a post op mastectomy bra looks like and the boob inserts that can be used. She has ordered me a couple, smallest "boobs" were a C cup. She shows me that they have toy stuffing in them and it is easy to add more or take some out if wanted to. She doesn't know if they will fit or be comfortable but good to try anyway. She has a look at the scars and drains. The right side scar at the front had a bit of a bubble of fluid, 'a micro boob'. She says that is normal and it'll probably go away either in the drain or be absorbed back into the body. She says if it goes hard and/or hot then that is a problem and to tell the nurse straight away or if I'm home to go to emergency straight away. It's soft and normal temperature now so it's ok.

Noon - 2 panadol. Lunch at 12.30pm. I was really glad because I was HUNGRY! I was really hungry. Nothing like having your boobs cut off to awaken the hunger nerves. I don't think that it would be a recommended form of treatment for enteric neuropathy after chemo though. Lunch was beef meatballs with pasta and vegetables, orange juice, an apple, chocolate cake. I have been pleasantly surprised at how nice the food has been when I've been in hospital each time. I mean it's not amazing but it's much better than plane food.

Social worker dropped in after lunch to check on how I was going and what sort of supports I have in place at home to help me. Mither and Pither were there for a visit at the time. Worked out that I didn't need any extra help than what I have. I was prepared with the meals I'd done, the community nurses would be coming every day to check on my drains. Mither worked out a way to put a hurdle under my mattress so I could hang my drain on it on the left side. Pither has hurdles to help with his physio visits and exercises sometimes. They work perfectly. Social worker says that if anything comes up to let her know, or Ross know at Sutherland Hospital.

I had been having a good day and the Drs in the morning had said that I could stay another night if I felt like it but I could go home if I was ok. I'd been on the fence a bit throughout the morning, figuring that I would feel worse as the day went on. But, I didn't. So I decided that I wanted to go home, sleep in my own bed. I was discharged around 3.30pm. Jason came and picked me and Mither up (Pither had gone shopping) and I was home by 4.30pm.

Surprisingly my pain and discomfort levels have been pretty low. Panadol is enough to take the edge off if I need. I was given a script for endone (6 of them) if I had "breakthrough" pain. I don't think that I will need to go and get it filled. I had a shower and then a good sleep in my own bed, getting up around 4am to have a wee and 2 panadol. I have created a bit of a raised pillow pile with a couple of pillows and the big C shaped pregnancy pillow that Donna gave me when I was having chemo. It keeps me in a good comfortable position - well, sort of. Enough to sleep anyway. Just after 9am Alison the community nurse called to say she'd be here between 11am and noon.

Friday 9.30am I did a poo! First time since the operation. Always good to know the bowels are working. It is VERY difficult to wipe with two drains in but I managed. Tight shoulders, tight scars, two drains, makes it difficult to twist and turn and bend. I had wondered how I would go cos it was awkward enough with one drain. These drains aren't as annoying and painful as the other one was though.

Ange, Shell and Jon came for a short visit. Shell was borrowing my car to fit a new bed and mattress in it. It was nice to see them for the short half an hour before they had to rush off again. It was good timing anyway as the community nurse came around 1.30pm. It was Sally, not Alison. She got held up. Apparently they have 76 clients and only 7 staff at the moment!

Sally changed the dressing on the right drain as it was coming off a bit and she changed the tape on the drain tubes. They are coiled up a bit so that if they are pulled they won't pull the drain out. The tape that was put on in the hospital was extra super dooper tape and it already had started making my skin all raw on the left side. Left drain was 100ml and right drain 180ml. My bet is that the left drain will come out before the right one. Maybe in a week? Let's see if I'm right.

I had another pretty good night last night. Sally came again today at 10.20am. Left drain 80ml, right drain 180ml. I had spent the morning yesterday and today sewing hexagons together out on the back deck, doing my exercises and stretches after I'd sewed a few hexagons together. The afternoons I need to lie down again. Pain is still ok, I think my back and left hip and neck are more painful from having to sleep on my back than my incisions or drains.

After lunch today I went to lie down and was watching an episode of Chicago Fire on Prime before writing this blog. I suddenly feel my right butt cheek is damp. Is my drain leaking? My side is dry and the dressings are dry but my sheet and bum is wet. I think that drain bag was leaking out the top bit somehow. Mither got a 2nd hurdle to put on that side of the bed too, like the left side. I had been going to hang the bag on the chest of draw handles like last time but they were a bit far stretching with having two drains. Now I'm set and hopefully no more leaking.

So that's me to now. I'm doing ok. Much better than I thought I would be doing. I also think my toes are feeling a bit less numb today than they have been.