50. Pins and a pin cushion.

On Monday when I went for my blood test I took April with me. It was school holiday time and her and Ash were here and although had been playing nicely there was some indications that separation of the two would be beneficial to everyone. April's mind was a bit blown when I said that I was born at Sutherland Hospital and she was as well. Her 7th birthday was yesterday (28th) and so birthdays were on her mind. She was pretty excited to see where the ambulances "sleep" and that she also got to see four of them waiting at emergency. At the blood collection clinic she asked the lady if she needed to wear a mask (there is a sign on the door saying no entry without a mask) and the lady said "Only if you want to". She put one on for a bit but they were adult sized and kept falling off. There wasn't too much of a wait, maybe 15 mins and April had fun watching people come and go and also taking some photos on my phone. I let her know that she couldn't take photos of people other than me or her as they would like to keep their privacy. She wanted to know what privacy meant so we had that discussion. When it was my turn she got quite excited when the nurse offered her a lolly pop. She chose a watermelon flavoured one. She was quite interested in how the lady took my blood and where she stuck in the needle and what the blood looked like in the little vials.

Afterwards we walked over to the oncology clinic so that I could change my appointment for Dr Michael to make it a week earlier. My little toes were numb and not just for a short time, more persistent. One of the nurses saw me with April and came over for a chat. April told them she was going to be 7 on Friday and that she got a lolly pop at the blood clinic. All the people in the reception area wished her a happy birthday. We then walked back to the car and got a text message from Pither saying he needed a tomato and cucumber and could we get it on the way home. So we stopped off at the fruit and vegetable shop and I let April find the cucumber and tomato and choose which ones to get. She looked very proud to be able to help. Then home for some lunch before exercise class with Lewis. Energy levels ok, not too much bone pain, but fingers a bit stiff. I'll add that to the list for Dr Michael.

Tuesday was Anzac Day and I went to the Dawn Service at Bundeena. Three people needed an ambulance and one lady (similar age to me maybe) keeled over sideways and went THUMP on the ground about 3 metres in front. Good thing it wasn't concrete and it was soft grass. Busy day for emergency services! Walked along Bundeena beach after the service and then drove to Wattamolla and walked to Curracurrang and back. Beautiful morning and it was busy on the track too. Brunch at Audley and then home again. I spent the afternoon organising the hexagons into colours and fabric designs and then started putting them together in a colour wash design so I can start sewing them together.

Wednesday was Chemo X (VI for Taxol). Little toes are still numb and sometimes the 4th toes are too. Fingers are still a bit stiff, especially when I played the piano I felt like I didn't have as much dexterity as I normally do. My nose is a bit dry and not bleeding but there is blood inside my nose. Appointment was at 1pm today. Nurse Lauren comes and gets me at 1.15pm. My neutrophil count is 1.96. Going down again. I hope it doesn't get lower then one again next week. Lauren got all the bits and pieces out like normal, had a feel of Persephone, reclined the chair back and stuck Persephone with the needle. It didn't hurt that much but of course she didn't want to play and bleed like she should. Let's do the contortionist game, sit forward, move my head to the right, lift my left arm, cough, breath deeply. Persephone really doesn't want to be nice today. Lauren asks a head nurse to come over and after some more playing around she says "I'm old school, no blood, no chemo through the port, we'll have to do a cannula." Kim comes over as well and says if it doesn't work I'll have to have another port-a-cathagram (x-ray) like I had before. Maybe another fibrin sheath, or it's moved? They all apologise. I told them it's not their fault. Persephone is temperamental and wants all the attention.

Lauren gets out the cannula needle and has a feel on my arm and hand to see where to stick me again. The vein near my ring finger on my left hand look and feels good. She sticks me and it's ok and then it starts to hurt a LOT and start to swell. She thinks she's hit or stuck in a valve so she takes it out and gets an ice pack to put on it. She then goes for the vein that is on the side of my wrist by below my thumb. They have used that before. I remember the nurse saying "Sorry,I have to chase it..." That isn't a pleasant memory. Lauren doesn't seem to be hitting it even though she says "It is bouncing, I can feel it. I don't know why it's not working. Mocsi, can you come help?" Mocs comes over and again she has a play around but it doesn't work. She gets a hot towel and puts it on my forearm. I start laughing. Ice pack on my hand, hot towel on my arm. Mocs and Lauren have a bit of a laugh too.

Kim comes over to ask a question just as Mocs says she'll giver Persephone one more try. The needle was still in and Mocs puts her fingers around Persephone and tells me to lean right forward and to take in a really big deep breathe. I do and she says "keep going" and then she says "We've got blood!". By this time it's almost 2.30pm. Lauren has gone to tell Dr Nick about my numb little toes and he comes in and asks me how long and was it consistent and any are other toes or fingers numb or tingling. I tell him what I told Lauren and he says that my dose will be dropped by 25%. That means 227ml of Taxol. I know that as Lauren writes on a piece of laminated paper that says "STOP, only infuse 227mls of Paclitaxol" and hangs it over the IV stand infuser. So, chemo started at 3.17pm and I was done by 4.30pm. I only ended up doing 42 hexagons today due to so many interruptions .

On Friday I went and saw Dr Michael. 3.45pm appointment but it was close to 4.20pm by the time I saw him. Yesterday on a walk along Bulli/Woonona beach the back of my left knee was a bit sore. It also felt a bit hot and a bit lumpy. Mither says it looks like a varicose vein perhaps. Anyway, I tell Dr Michael about it and he has a feel of both legs and says it could be a varicose vein but "you've scored yourself an ultrasound". I also tell him about the nosebleeds and he is interested to know that in the last couple of weeks I have had two new "vascular events". He looks up a medical study online and say "oh the poor little 24 New Zealand male rabbits" and "Isn't it awful what we do to them in the name of science". Yes, I agree! Anyway, he is a bit flummoxed and apologises that he doesn't have an immediate answer to me being a bit of a medical anomaly and he'll do some homework (I'm assuming research) over the weekend.

He agrees with Dr Nick about dropping the dose on Wednesday and says the numbness will get worse before it gets better. He says I have 6 doses left and that by the end ones I may have the dose dropped again by another 10%. He also says to get Complex Vitamin B tablets and "go wild" with them - and then he said "Well, one in the morning and one at night". They can help with nerve stuff. I got some of those from the pharmacy today and the Pharmacist said that they can have a stimulant effect so I might be a bit more jumpy in the evening. Let's see what happens. It might also help with the bone pain after reading the bottle. Before I go he flags down Georgia and gives her the referral for the ultrasound and asks if she can get it sorted for Tuesday as I'm already at the hospital for chemo. Appointment to see him in again in 3 weeks unless something else comes up. A few hours after getting home I got a call from the hospital, ultrasound booked in for 8.45am, chemo is for 9.30am. Better to do it before, who knows what Persephone will be up to again.

Today I was at the supermarket and had paid at the check out. I stepped forward to grab my bag of groceries and put it in my trolley. The lady behind me tried to be "helpful" so she had pushed my trolley forward and it rammed into the back of my left heel. I know! How unlucky and accident prone do I have to be?!?!?! Seriously, you can't make this suff up. Anyway, it was bleeding a bit but not gushing. It's almost in the same spot as when I had 10 stitches in my heel when I was in Scotland in 2006. Probably about 2cm long. Anyway, last time I had it there the wound wouldn't close up and eventually Olga, the homeopath who Mither has gone to for years, told me to grind up 2 different cell salts and put it in the wound and then put a spray bandage over the top. It scabbed up in a couple of days. So, I did the same thing this time though I didn't have a spray bandage, I have a waterproof one. I'm sure the nurses will check it out on Tuesday.